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They Will Mirror You

They Will Mirror You

The sun shone brightly as I strolled through the park that lay just behind my sister’s home, holding little boy hands. My active three and four-year-old boys had been staying with my older sibling while I hung out with their father in a hospital across town. Far from the confines of stale hospital corridors, I relished time with my little men, singing praise songs as we walked.

A few days before, a brain stem tumor biopsy confirmed what we suspected, new tumor growth combined with radiation damage, causing their daddy’s slow demise. The last ditch effort medical procedure offered clarity—but little hope.

So as I sang with my boys and walked under a canopy of leaves, I wondered how we’d handle the future if their daddy wasn’t in it.

A thought drifted through my mind like the gentle breeze that blew across my skin, “They’ll mirror you.”

“They’ll mirror me?” I asked.

“Yes, your boys will mirror you. Your faith will impact their own.”

The thought scared me at first. Barely twenty-seven-years-old and prone to emotional whims, the idea that my boys would mirror me was scary. But when their dad died only three weeks later and parenting was up to me, the notion became a mantra that led me to my knees. If my boys were going to watch me and follow my lead, I needed to stay close to Jesus.

A few weeks ago, a relative of mine lost her best friend in a murder-suicide. As I shared the story, I was amazed at how many people I know have been touched by the same. Our culture is in disarray, leaving all ages exposed to deep grief.

My relative recently verbalized what once worried me, “Can my children still grow up and trust in a loving God after being exposed to such tragedy?”

As we spoke, I remembered that sunny day, in the park, when I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “They’ll mirror you.”

I was never a perfect parent and failed many times. But I asked for forgiveness, fought to get up, and continued to praise God even when the pain was fresh and raw.

And to this day, I recognize the seriousness of my role as a parent and grandparent. When I live convinced of God’s goodness and mercy, my faith encourages their own. Which means I still need time on my knees and in the Word of God so I can stand firm in what I believe on the sunny and sad days.

We have an impact to make—in our homes, in our communities, and in our places of worship. Our belief encourages others. But deep down, it’s a personal journey. One we need to be convinced is worth taking, if we want others to do the same.

They will mirror us. In good ways and bad.

Which is why I still pray that I will be able to stand confident, to shine His light, and to make the small difference I’m meant to make in this world.

By: Susan Schreer Davis lives with her husband, their cat named, Eggs, and the challenging effects of mitochondrial disease. She likes wispy curtains that hang to the floor and life with toilets scrubbed clean. Learn more about Susan at www.coffeefaithandchronicdisease.blogspot.org.

Join us at www.just18summers.com for our parenting blog each Monday-Friday and for info about the Just 18 Summers novel.

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