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Love When It Hurts

Love When It Hurts

With tears streaming from her eyes, Kristina ran from the bus into my arms, devastated by the remarks of a friend. Jessie had said some very cruel things. When her words were spent, I asked how she would respond. She was puzzled, not knowing what to say. Silently praying for wisdom, I recognized this opportunity to teach these sixth graders how to handle conflict, not only now, but when it strikes the families they build in the future.

I calmly instructed my daughter’s tender heart, “Pick up the phone, call Jessie, and tell her you love her.” It didn’t make sense, but she was obedient. When Jessie answered, Kristina simply said, “I love you.” Jessie burst into tears, apologizing, and telling her that she loved her too. Sometimes I wonder if Jessie remembers that incident. Did it impact her life as it did ours? But these conflicts do not always end as well.

The culture is confused. Most online sources define the word “love” as an emotion. But when we demonstrate love so that we can feel happy or secure, it’s not even an emotion as much as a manipulation. And we see this attitude destroying homes and lives and potentials, bringing depression and despair, especially to the children who feel they will never live up to the expectations of others—expectations they feel they must meet in order to be loveable. So it’s up to us to teach authentic love by showing authentic love.

  • A good place to start is by avoiding entertainment that communicates these epic distortions.
  • Let’s ask God to give us hearts that selflessly share the love of Christ in every circumstance.
  • We can talk with our children when we’re sitting around the house, driving in the car, going to bed, or rising in the morning (Deut. 11:19), equipping them to correct this cultural confusion.
  • Let’s talk about the tensions and conflicts at our jobs and schools and even churches while at the dinner table—not to complain, but rather to energetically strategize about how we can respond in a manner that will honor Christ in each assignment.
  • We can pray with our children for those who rise against them and those who rise against us as Christians.
  • A great thing to do is to post a dozen Bible verses throughout our homes that will help plant God’s Word deeply into our hearts—so that we might be faithful and not sin against Him.

A new commandment I give to you,

that you love one another;

as I have loved you,

that you also love one another.

By this all will know that you are My disciples,

if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35 NKJV


  • And finally, let’s pray that our families will overflow with the following Biblical qualities:

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous,

it does not brag,

and it is not proud.

Love is not rude,

is not selfish,

and does not become angry easily.

Love does not remember wrongs done against it.

Love takes no pleasure in evil,

but rejoices over the truth.

Love patiently accepts all things.

It always trusts,

always hopes,

and always continues strong.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ICB


Father, help us to share this holy love

with all people

that we might be Your hands and feet and heart,

so changing the course of individuals and nations.

In the name of Jesus we pray,



By: Connie Norris has a passion to mobilize women and children to pray. Please visit her website, “My Home, a House of Prayer for All Nations” or connect with her on Facebook at

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