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Do you remember what you expected when you were expecting? You may have hoped your child would develop skills and interests like your own, or that she would know when to speak and when to hold her tongue, or that he would learn acceptable behavior at home and abroad. And in those rare moments when his or her behavior went off course, you may have thought your correction would be effective . . . immediately. You may have believed that parenting would be easy and that it followed a clear path.

You may have expected many things, but I’m willing to guess not everything turned out quite the way you expected.

In an excerpt from the book Curious Faith by Logan Wolfram, I read this statement: “Expectations are preconceived resentments.”* That thought stopped me in my tracks. You can read the book to see where the author goes with that thought, but here’s where I went.

If my expectations lead naturally to resentment, just who is in charge here? Am I expecting the Lord to accomplish my plan? Even when His is far different, far better? Is my satisfaction the measure of what’s best for my child? Can I believe the Lord has good and gracious plans for my child just as He has for me? And if I respond with resentment when my expectations are not met, where will this road lead me? I hope those aren’t hard questions to answer.

Habakkuk 3:17­-18 says: “Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive fails and the fields produce no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will [choose to] rejoice in the Lord; I will [choose to] shout in exultation in the [victorious] God of my salvation!” (AMP)

What if our expectations for our adult children were Habakkuk expectations instead of expectations for jobs or grandchildren or geographical proximity? What if our first and best response became “yet I will triumph in Yahweh”? If every hope is dashed, every goal goes unfulfilled, and every expectation fails, will you say, “Yet I will [choose to] rejoice in the Lord; I will [choose to] shout in exultation in the [victorious] God of my salvation!” Can you imagine how those expectations and responses would strengthen our faith, our relationships, and our daily walk?

This is a lesson for parents of every age, and a lesson not to be forgotten simply because your children are grown. Learn this, or learn this again, and model it for your children and your grandchildren.


*Logan Wolfram, Curious Faith (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2016), 94.

By: Nancy Lohr

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One Comment

  1. Thank you! What an amazing God we serve. No matter the phase, we love our little hearts that live outside of our bodies, desiring good things for them. How much more, our God. I appreciate this reminder today.

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